Last night I was a mess. Unglued, undone, unraveled. It did not happen in an instant or even in a day. My own challenges and the messes of those around me, the responsibilities and demands had been pulling me loose from my my source of peace and joy. I let it happen.
Did you see those two little words, “I let…” ?
I let it happen. I allowed myself to come unwound from the spool. Life on this planet can get fast and crazy and hard. My source of real life pursues me and invites me to abide and cling to him. Like thread on a spool.
He doesn’t resend his invitation when I screw up. No cold shoulder when I stumble. He is not a manipulator using silent treatments and conditional affection. Nope.
Arms wide open this God. My redeemer.
Yet, I forget to bring him my mess, the temptation to do it myself, the burdens that come with loving other messy people. Then I am completely unraveled.
Are you wondering what that looks like? It looks like bags under my eyes this morning from crying myself to sleep last night. There wasn’t much thread left on the spool when I came dragging home last night. Then came the drama. Four out of six children either crying or making me cry. – Note that these are tweens and teens not toddlers. Including me.
Needless to say, there was nothing left to give to you on the night I open this laptop and share my heart.
This is the picture that I put into words this afternoon. Poetry I suppose. Perhaps you need reminding. Maybe you have forgotten his invitation to “come” and to “abide”.
A spool of thread
Loosening and falling
A pile of tangles and knots
Knots and tangles
A thread of chaos
Piled and piled
A disarray of tangles and knots
Knots and tangles
A master of weaving
Straightening and restoring
A designer of beauty and purpose
Purpose and beauty
The God of grace
Waiting and inviting
Lover of the messy and broken
Broken and the messy