From day one of parenthood, we are looking for reassurance. We walk the floors with a crying infant questioning ourselves, “is she hungry? Is it gas? Is she just tired? Teething?” It’s really just a big guessing game, and the object of the game is survival for us as the mom and a future without therapy for our child.
We read books and ask friends for advice as we wrestle with overwhelming dilemmas such as “pacifier or no pacifier?” We had a plan before our baby came, but at 2:00 in the morning and two days since our last shower, our survival instincts kick in and we do what we have to do.
As moms who love our children and want what’s best for them; we are constantly making decisions for their care, whether it’s choosing a pediatrician or deciding when our daughter can wear mascara. Maybe you are like me and question almost every one of those decisions. It’s both a blessing and a curse to me that there is SO MUCH information available to me each day. I just read that BPA-free plastic is actually not safe at all. What?
We are now privy to the parenting of the rest of the world, thanks to the internet and social media. I second guess myself more than ever. There is pressure to follow the current of other parents, and thousands of experts are giving us many opposing suggestions. It’s madness, girls!
More than anything (even more than coffee and chocolate), I want to feel peace that I’m getting parenting right. I want to lay my head down on my pillow and not wonder if I’m screwing up my kids.
The struggle was real with babies, and I am deep in it now with five teenagers. Reassurance is what I really need.
How should I make decisions for my kids? Where does that peace come from, and how can I find it?
- The fact that you are worried about making a mistake means you love your kids deeply, so dial the worry back five notches. The security of your love will carry your children far.
- If they do require therapy, there are great options available.
- Don’t try to keep up with other parents. Find your own lane and stay in it. You know your own kids.
- Trust your gut.
- When you mess up, apologize to your kids. They didn’t come with an owner’s manual, and you’re not going to get it right all the time.
- It’s okay to change your mind. If you realize you were being ridiculous or that you were doing it all wrong, admit it and move on.
- Get wise counsel from godly people.
- PRAY! Bring those decisions before the Lord and ask for wisdom.
- Show yourself some grace, because God fills in the gaps.
Our children will grow up. They will make their own choices along the way, great ones and stupid ones; just like their parents. We can influence, but we can’t control. We can cover them with prayer and we can entrust them to the Lord. He is so much bigger than our mistakes with our children.
Seek his guidance. Walk it out in obedience. Rest in his goodness.
He is our reassurance.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5