Do you think it’s true that we hurt the ones we love the most? I do. I’m talking about the everyday stuff. Hurtful words, selfishness, sarcasm, misunderstandings, etc.  I’ve never been one to get really angry. I was usually the peacemaker in my home growing up.We didn’t yell and fight in my family.  I got along fine with friends, wasn’t into drama. Sure, my older brother made me mad, but I just went to my room and cried. Until…

…I got married. Something about this deep love, and living with someone day in and day out. There are crazy expectations we didn’t know we had, weird idiosyncrasies and habits, baggage from growing up, new dreams and changes. It’s not for the faint of heart! Do we love each other? Yes! Would I go back and change my answer to that handsome hunk, down on one knee? No! Are there days that I feel like I would trade him for a Pumpkin Spice latte? Yes!

When you put two imperfect people in the same house for life, there are going to be those moments, those days of disappointment, hurt, and anger. Yes, my pastor husband was the first person to make me mad enough to cuss. (For the record, it made him die laughing. Fight over.)  Yes, we fight. No, we don’t agree on everything.

We also fight for our marriage, for each other. There is beautiful forgiveness going on in our relationship. It sets us free from bitterness and resentment. We both realize that we are flawed, but we also know that we are on the same team. We are for each other. We let it go, and we move on with a stronger relationship. I believe us girls struggle with really letting things go. For a long time, I kept a record of the hurts and each one became ammunition for the next fight. I would unload on my poor husband. I rehearsed the things I would say in my head. I used my words to manipulate, to make him feel bad. I was trying to desperately to control him and keep myself from getting hurt. Somehow, if he felt guilty enough, he wouldn’t hurt me again.

The truth is that we are going to hurt each other. So thankful for the forgiveness that has become part of our marriage. Do you need to forgive your husband today? Have you been holding on to past hurts? You know, as I do, that our unforgiveness is a prison. Find some freedom today in letting it go. We’re all messed up and in need of forgiveness, right?

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32