I am sharing this story because last year I don’t think I would have laughed. Last year I was not “enough”. Plagued by insecurity, all I could see was a bad reflection of myself. Everywhere I looked, I saw this woman I thought I was supposed to be, this perfect version of myself. She whispered in my ear, telling me that if I was a “good” mom and a “good” wife, I would do this and that. If I was a “good” Christian and a “good” pastor’s wife, I wouldn’t have done this or that. She was all I could see. Do you know who I couldn’t see? You.
Insecurity can blind us to the hurts and the joys of other women. I could not minister to you or celebrate with you. I didn’t see you, and I’m sorry. The gifts I see in other women are beautiful reflections of our creator. It’s an honor to share in your pain and struggles. Knowing who we are in Christ, believing we are loved, accepted, worthy, and secure frees us to focus on others.
Not feeling like we are enough can lead us into a life of co-dependency. Somehow fixing other people, being the “yes” girl helps us feel better about ourselves. When we rescue someone, when someone “needs” us, we are enough. For a while.
Trying to be enough is futile. Hamster in a wheel. Running. Running. Exhausting. Frustrating.
We are deceived into thinking that having enough stuff, getting it together, or being a rescuer will work. Freedom is found in understanding and believing in the perfect love of our Father and the grace offered to us through Jesus.
Laughter feels good. Celebrating other women is sweet. So thankful I can see you. I’m being honest about my journey because I want to see other women living in freedom. I read a couple of books that opened my eyes and prepared my heart for that freedom. After that, God led me to a ministry of counseling and discipleship that walked me through the process. They helped me let go of junk that weighed me down. I said goodbye to the girl who was never enough and embraced my identity as “complete” in Christ.