Yesterday, in my ongoing effort to decrease the level of chaos in our home and therefore extend my life, I decided to let everyone mix their own trail mix. i had six containers, a sharpie, and every bag of trail mixy items from the pantry setting out on the table. Cashew, peanuts, almonds, banana chips, dried cranberries and blueberries, coconut, etc.

I also put out a few treats like chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. The key to this not going badly and my children not becoming diabetic was the green scooper. Most of my children would have filled their big jar half full of chocolate, (after all, they are their mother’s children) but only one green scoop of delight was allowed in the mix.

To my amazement, the whole thing worked. Six jars of customized yummyness for snacking this week. I’m sure my kids would have liked more than one green scoop of sugar, right? Who wouldn’t? 

When it comes to sugar, I set limits. I ration. 

Why do I limit God?

In my recent struggle as a working mom to find “room” for God in my life, I have come to a few conclusions. Maybe you can relate.

No matter what stage of life I have gone through, whether it was my super self-consumed teenage years, the four years of self discovery and hard work in college, being a newlywed, a young mother, the mother of four preschoolers, or life as an adoptive mom, I have faced the same challenge. 

Life is loud and distracting, consuming and deceptive. Our enemy uses our circumstances, our insecurities, and the tyranny of the urgent to challenge our priorities and lead us off the path we truly desire. 

The truth is that no matter how nutso our lives are, no matter how demanding our calendars are, God’s availability does not change. We have as much of him in our lives as we desire. 

I remember someone sharing a quote about “buying some of God,” so I googled. Amazingly, I found it right away. 

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,

but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk

or a snooze in the sunshine.

I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black man

or pick beets with a migrant.

I want ecstasy, not transformation.

I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth.

I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.

— Wilbur Rees

I am saddened that I have been so easily satisfied with just a little bit of God. He quickly becomes the icing on my cake instead of the cake itself. I only let him be part instead of being everything. His love and power are within me and surrounding me, and yet I forge ahead alone. His presence can be my home, yet I just visit. 

I remember reading this quote in a book called Desiring God.  I totally agreed when I read it, that we have access to God’s glory, yet we are satisfied with way less.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”  C.S. Lewis

God’s word is rich with his invitation for us to draw near to him, to come to him. He in unchanging, faithful, and pursues us relentlessly. He is available. The God of the universe is available. To us. Hard to wrap my mind around that. 

How much of God do you want? I don’t want to be satisfied with mud pies.

As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God. 2My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?…
Psalm  42:1

Jeremiah 29:13

New International Version (NIV)
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.